we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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