so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
