Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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