I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Also, beer. Big fan.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
