No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He better not be in your backpack
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
