Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
