You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
