i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
