Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
