remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
