First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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