I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
