if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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