tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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