listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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