No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just threw up on my dentist
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize