my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize