We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
