saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize