C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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