Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
