I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
