one might say we're banned from that church
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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