i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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