My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
