you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
