I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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