imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
