found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is it because I queefed?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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