She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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