at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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