We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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