she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
