you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
