i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
