Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
