scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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