Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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