Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
