Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
