So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
