apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You're like the curious george of whores
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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