O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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