When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
