Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
