All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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