i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
