Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
