I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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