i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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