Umm I'm too high to move.
so explain again why im purple
no
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
