Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
