Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
