I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
