I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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