i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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