Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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