I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
