just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
worst night to have a conscience
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
