how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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