wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize