Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
