I think scott just propositioned me for sex
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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