Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
