Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
