i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
