maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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