3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
