His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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