girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
