hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
